I Hate The Way You Lie
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.- Eminem feat. Rihanna “Love the way you lie”
Recently I was asked what was more important in a relationship: passion, or dependability? I struggled to answer. My inner gut went directly for the passion, of course, as I am one of the most passionate people you will ever meet. No one would ever accuse me of of not showing emotion, never a robot. Rather, it is a daily struggle for me to hold back, bite my tongue, take a deep breath. Occasionally, my grip lessens, usually with each sip of a drink or day of being ignored, until eventually, for a slight moment, this passion overcomes me.
I have had those relationships. The ones that have the highest of highs, with even lower lows. Nights filled with tears, constant fighting that tortures your soul. Hurtful words are exchanged just to feel that rush, the intensity of emotion, the feeling of hate caught up in that of love. The lack of sanity. Then finally, once the storm has settled, the reconciliation, you feel even stronger than before. The passionate nights, the exchange of those three powerful words. There are few greater highs, you feel invincible. Until, it falls apart once again. It always does. The lack of stability, the insanity. Habits start to form, patterns of disrespect, abuse. Verbal and physical. Such abnormality becomes normality. You accept it because you love them.
I refuse to believe that love is based on purely passion, a part of loving someone so much it hurts, mentally or even, physically. The passion can be blinding. The screaming fights, the tears, the insecurity, the pain. These are not, and should not, be attributes of love.
I need someone to balance me out, someone who will stay level headed when I cannot. I can overreact, I can get angry, say things I don’t mean, but love means you will love me not only in spite of all those things, but maybe even because of them. When it’s right, the passion in me can be good too. It will be unlike anything you, we, will ever feel.
So, despite my initial gut instinct to go purely on passion, I changed my response. It sounds so boring, but why? Because it’s someone who will take care of you? Someone who will love you, protect you? Someone who feels pain when you feel pain, someone who will do anything to prevent it, never intentionally inflict it. Someone where the words I love you are not only enough, but they don’t even need to be said because they understand you, they feel it, they know it. And you know it too. Stability. Trust. Dependability.
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